At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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