singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
