We need to rekindle our bromance
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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