If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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