One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
They have beer where we have blood.
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