don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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