Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
