I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
