yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
This is my gift to your gina
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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