Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have post one night stand depression
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