Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
