Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
