dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
