You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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