im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
