I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
