shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
