I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
