with your own penis?
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
