i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
