I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
