Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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