does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
