ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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