Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
