after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
