Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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