i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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