it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
