escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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