Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
