Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
