And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
