yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
