glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
