I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
