WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
