She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We had to coat check the pizza.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
