so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
