Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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