i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
