I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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