you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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