Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
