just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
