You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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