I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You ruined the universe
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
