But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
what day is it and did you see me today?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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