ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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