Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the condom got lost in my hair
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
They took my balls.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
