Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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