Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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