Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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