I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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