How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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