he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
