ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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