I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
