he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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