and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
