i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
