Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
